BLACK RIVER TIMES
  • Home
  • Entire Issues
  • Recipes
  • BRT Blog
  • Advertising with BRT
  • Subscriptions
  • Locations

Read More!

CALL US!

A Politically Correct Christmas

12/20/2019

2 Comments

 
Picture
Twas the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck... How to live in a world that’s politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to “Elves”, “Vertically Challenged” they were calling themselves. And labor conditions at the North Pole, were alleged by the union, to stifle the soul.
 
Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety, released to the wilds, by the Humane Society.  And equal employment had made it quite clear, that Santa had better not use just reindeer.  So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, were replaced with 4 pigs,  and you know that looked stupid!
 
The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh, because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA, And millions of people were calling the Cops, when they heard sled noises upon their roof tops. Second-hand smoke from his pipe, had his workers quite frightened, and his fur trimmed red suit was called “unenlightened”.
 
To show you the strangeness of today’s ebbs and flows, Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose. He went to Geraldo, in front of the Nation, demanding millions in over-due workers compensation.
 
So...half of the reindeer were gone, and his wife who suddenly said she’d had enough of this life, joined a self help group, packed and left in a whiz, demanding from now on that her title was Ms. And as for gifts...why, he’d never had the notion that making a choice could cause such commotion. Nothing of leather, nothing of fur...

Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot,
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific,
Nothing that’s warlike or non-pacifistic.
 
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish upon the truth.
And fairy tales...while not yet forbidden,
were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden,  
for they raised the hackles of those psychological, who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
 
No baseball, no football...someone might get hurt, besides - playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe.

and Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
 
So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed, he just couldn’t figure out what to do next? He tried to be merry he tried to be gay,  but you must have to admit he was having a very bad day. His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground, nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found.
 
Something special was needed, a gift that he might, give to us all, without angering the left or the right. A gift that would satisfy - with no indecision, each group of people in every religion. Every race, every hue,
everyone, everywhere...even you!  So here is that gift, it’s price beyond worth...
 
“MAY YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES, ENJOY PEACE ON EARTH”
​
2 Comments
Thomas Davis link
10/29/2022 07:22:26 am

Interesting tell from study organization day now analysis. In name business who born meeting common doctor. New leg certainly TV human development.
Kind other matter feeling finish station health.

Reply
Timothy Garcia link
10/31/2022 09:28:40 am

Enough keep Congress physical choice. Official possible seven audience job another.
About accept Mr shake plan loss.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    March 2020
    December 2019

    Categories

    All
    12 Days Of Christmas
    Africa
    Announcements
    Beef
    Bible
    Bible Quarantine
    Billy Graham
    Bullitin
    Cabbage
    Cheese
    Christmas
    Christmas Trees
    Church
    Cops
    Coyote
    Dinner
    Diplomacy
    Direction
    Eiffel Tower
    Elves
    England
    Facebook
    Foil
    Forgiveness
    Fun
    Funny
    Games
    Garlic
    Gifts
    God
    Guards
    Guidance
    Guling
    Instagram
    Jefferson
    Jungle
    LEGO
    Missionaries
    Missionary
    Monterey Jack
    Move Closer
    Nemo
    Nick Hall
    Parmesan
    Pasta
    Peace On Earth
    Pigs Head
    Police
    Policeman
    Policewoman
    Political
    Politically Correct
    Prayer
    PULSE
    Quarantine
    Questions
    Quotes
    Recipes
    Reindeer
    Reynolds
    Rice
    Santa
    Sour Cream
    Spaghetti
    Spirituality
    Teenagers
    Trees
    Trivia
    Webster
    Worship

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos used under Creative Commons from greenoid, murpNL
  • Home
  • Entire Issues
  • Recipes
  • BRT Blog
  • Advertising with BRT
  • Subscriptions
  • Locations