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THE BIBLE QUARANTINE

3/23/2020

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 Nick Hall, founder of PULSE, has launched a new Instagram TV series called “The Bible Quarantine”.  The series explores the meaning of church when people cannot meet together for worship and how to deal with fear.  Each episode is about eight minutes and is posted at 9 p.m. ET. 

The episodes are designed “to encourage you, make you laugh, and challenge you to make the most of this pause in our busy lives.”  According to their website, PULSE is "a prayer and evangelism movement on mission to empower the Church and awaken culture to the reality of Jesus".  PULSE has also released Move Closer, a mobile app that "meets the need for a simple, invitation-based discipleship process for the next generation. It combines community, teaching, and a simple interface to empower everyday people to disciple everyday people."

“We have a choice,” Hall said. “We can sit in fear or we can use this forced Sabbath as a time to slow down and come back to what matters. ... I think God’s Word is going to speak to us during this time — and I believe this can be a life-defining season if we invite God in.”
You can join in on The Bible Quarantine on both Instagram and Facebook.  
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Trivia!

12/28/2019

1 Comment

 
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  1.  If you hug a guling, are you hugging an animal, a toy or a pillow? If you hug a guling you are hugging a pillow.
  2.  Does the word coyote (an Aztec word) mean wild, proud or ‘trickster?  The name coyote means trickster.
  3.  Which country gave us the words shampoo and pyjamas?  India
  4. In Finding Nemo, what is Nemo’s dad called? Marvin, Marlin or Martin?  Marlin
  5. In which year was the LEGO company founded? 1932, 1942 or 1952?  1932
  6. Rome has never hosted the Summer Olympic Games. TRUE or FALSE?​  FALSE. Rome hosted the Summer Olympics in 1960.
  7. Does the word clandestine mean noisy, secret or colourful?  Secret
  8. In which year was public cinema born? 1846, 1896 or 1946?  The first public shows of motion pictures started in 1896 ... and cinema was born!
  9. Which is taller? The Eiffel Tower or The Statue of Liberty?  The Eiffel Tower (320 metres tall) is taller than The Statue of Liberty (93m tall)
1 Comment

What is a policeman?

12/28/2019

1 Comment

 
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“A policeman is a composite of what all men are, I guess, a mingling of saint and sinner, dust and deity. What that really means is that they are exceptional, they are unusual. They are not commonplace. Buried under the froth is the fact, the fact is that less than one half of one percent of policeman misfit that uniform, and that is a better average than you’d find among clergymen.
 
“What is a policeman? “He of all men is at once the most needed, and the most wanted, a strangely nameless creature who is sir to his face and pig or worse behind his back. He must be such a diplomat that he can settle differences between individuals so that each will think he won, but, if a policeman is neat, he’s conceited, if he’s careless he’s a bum, if he’s pleasant, he’s a flirt, if he’s not, he’s a grouch.
 
“He must make instant decisions that would require months for a lawyer but if he hurries he’s careless, if he’s deliberate, he’s lazy. He must be first to an accident, infallible with diagnoses. He must be able to start breathing, stop bleeding, tie splints and above all, be sure the victim goes home without a limp.
 
“The police officer must know every gun, draw on the run and hit where it doesn’t hurt. “He must be able to whip two men twice his size and half his age without damaging his uniform, and without being brutal. If you hit him he’s a coward, if he hits you, he’s a bully.
 
The  policeman  from  a single human hair must be able to describe the crime,  the  weapon  the criminal, and tell you where the  criminal is hiding but, if he catches the  criminal he’s lucky, if he   doesn’t he’s a dunce. “He runs files and writes
reports until his eyes ache to build a case against some felon who will get
dealt out by some shameless shamus. The policeman must be a minister, a social worker, a diplomat, a tough guy, and a gentleman. And of course, he’ll have to be a genius, because he’ll have to feed a family on a policeman’s salary.”
 
Paul Harvey

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1 Comment

Monterey Jack Spaghetti

12/26/2019

 
8 oz. of spaghetti, broken into 2-inch pieces
2 eggs
2 cups of sour cream
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 tsp of garlic powder
4 cups of shredded Monterey Jack cheese
 
2 pks ( 10 oz ) frozen, chopped spinach, thawed & drained
 
1 lg can of Durkee French fried onion rings, divided
 
Cook spaghetti to pkg directions. In a medium bowl, beat eggs, add sour cream, Parmesan cheese & garlic powder. Drain spaghetti & add to egg mixture w/cheese, spinach & 1/2 the onions. Put in greased 2 qt. casserole & bake @ 350 degrees for 45 mins, covered. Last 5 minutes, add the remaining onions & enjoy!!!
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Christmas trivia

12/24/2019

1 Comment

 
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If you counted all the gifts that were given in the song “Twelve Days of Christmas” you would realize that the number of gifts being presented were 364 in total, thus a gift was given for each day of the year.
 
It was once believed that any woman who went under a mistletoe and was not kissed would not marry the coming year.
 
The people at Reynolds make a substantial amount of money selling foil during the Yuletide season. It has been confirmed that at least 3000 tons of foil are used to wrap turkeys annually.
 
Pig head, it’s what’s for dinner. The traditional Christmas dinner in England used to be a pig head prepared with a mustard sauce. Most English folk are possibly quite delighted that this isn’t the case anymore.
 
Bake your bread on Christmas Eve and it will remain fresh forever. If only. There is an old wives’ tale that actually suggests that bread baked on Christmas Eve is mold resistant. While it can-not be known now how many people believed this, it’s pretty obvious that any believers would be converted after the appearance of mold on their bread beyond 5 days or so.

1 Comment

Christmas tree statistics

12/24/2019

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​
Number Of Real Christmas Trees Sold In The U.S. Each Year       
33 Million
 
Number Of Fake Christmas Trees Sold Each Year
9.5 Million

Number Of Christmas Trees Currently Growing On
Christmas Tree Farms
350 Million

Average Growing Time For A Christmas Tree
7 Years

Number Of People Employed By The Christmas Tree Industry
100,000

%  Who Purchased A Pre-Cut Tree
84%

%  Who Cut Down Own Tree
16%

Total Spent Of Real Trees In 2011
$1.07 Billion

Total Spent Of Fake Trees In 2011
$670 Billion

%  Of Artificial Trees Sold In The U.S. That Are Imported From China
80%

Source: National Christmas Tree Association, USDA National Agricultural Statistics Service
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Quotes

12/20/2019

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I am committed against every thing which, in my judgment, may weaken, endanger or destroy the Constitution, and especially against all extension of Executive power; and I am committed against any attempt to rule the free people of this country by the power and the patronage of the Government itself.”  
Daniel Webster
 
“It is hardly too strong to say that the Constitution was made to guard the people against the dangers of good intentions…There are men, in all ages… who mean to govern well; but they mean to govern. They promise to be kind masters; but they mean to be masters… They think there need be but little restraint upon themselves…The love of power may sink too deep in their own hearts.”
Daniel Webster

“In questions of power, then, let no more be heard of confidence in men, but bind him down from mischief by the chains of the Constitution.”  Thomas Jefferson
 
“I, however, place economy among the first and most important republican virtues, and public debt as the greatest of dangers to be feared. To preserve our independence, we must not let our rulers load us with perpetual dept…I am for a government rigorously frugal and simple.” Thomas Jefferson
 
“We in America do not have government by the majority_we have government by the majority who participate…All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent.”  Thomas Jefferson

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Actual Church Bulletin Announcements

12/20/2019

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  • Don’t let worry kill you - let the church help!
  •  Thursday night - Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
  •  Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
  • For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
  • The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
  • This afternoon there will be a meeting on the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
  • Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. There will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
  • Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing, “Put Me In My Little Bed,” accompanied by the pastor.
  • Thursday at 5:00 p.m. There will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.
  • This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mr. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
  • The service will close with “Little Drops of Water.” One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
  • Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.
  • The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
  • A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
  • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
  • Howard was holding a meeting in another church and a lady got up to testify, “Brother Howard, I just wanted you to know, I ate beans all week so I’d have gas enough to come to church tonight.”
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Billy Graham's Prayer for Our Nation

12/20/2019

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THIS MAN SURE HAS A GOOD VIEW OF WHAT’S HAPPENING TO OUR COUNTRY!
 
‘Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance.
 
We know Your Word says, ‘Woe to those who call evil good,’ but that is exactly what we have done.
 
We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values. We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery. We rewarded laziness and called it welfare. We have killed our unborn and called it choice. We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable. We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self esteem.
 
We have abused power and called it politics. We have coveted our neighbor’s possessions and called it ambition. We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression. We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.
 
Search us, Oh God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from sin and set us free. Amen!’
 
With the Lord’s help, may this prayer sweep over our nation and wholeheartedly become our desire so that we once again can be called ‘One nation under God!’
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A Politically Correct Christmas

12/20/2019

2 Comments

 
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Twas the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck... How to live in a world that’s politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to “Elves”, “Vertically Challenged” they were calling themselves. And labor conditions at the North Pole, were alleged by the union, to stifle the soul.
 
Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety, released to the wilds, by the Humane Society.  And equal employment had made it quite clear, that Santa had better not use just reindeer.  So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, were replaced with 4 pigs,  and you know that looked stupid!
 
The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh, because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA, And millions of people were calling the Cops, when they heard sled noises upon their roof tops. Second-hand smoke from his pipe, had his workers quite frightened, and his fur trimmed red suit was called “unenlightened”.
 
To show you the strangeness of today’s ebbs and flows, Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose. He went to Geraldo, in front of the Nation, demanding millions in over-due workers compensation.
 
So...half of the reindeer were gone, and his wife who suddenly said she’d had enough of this life, joined a self help group, packed and left in a whiz, demanding from now on that her title was Ms. And as for gifts...why, he’d never had the notion that making a choice could cause such commotion. Nothing of leather, nothing of fur...

Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot,
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific,
Nothing that’s warlike or non-pacifistic.
 
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish upon the truth.
And fairy tales...while not yet forbidden,
were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden,  
for they raised the hackles of those psychological, who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
 
No baseball, no football...someone might get hurt, besides - playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe.

and Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
 
So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed, he just couldn’t figure out what to do next? He tried to be merry he tried to be gay,  but you must have to admit he was having a very bad day. His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground, nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found.
 
Something special was needed, a gift that he might, give to us all, without angering the left or the right. A gift that would satisfy - with no indecision, each group of people in every religion. Every race, every hue,
everyone, everywhere...even you!  So here is that gift, it’s price beyond worth...
 
“MAY YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES, ENJOY PEACE ON EARTH”
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